Deb and I lived in Texas in the early 80’s. We had just got married and moved to Longview so I could go back to school and finish my degree at LeTourneau College. To pay for school and housing, I had an automotive repair business called Todd’s Automotive, Deb worked at McDonald’s, and we both worked at Alpine Golf Club. In 1982, Lefty Crouch, a fired air traffic controller, joined Alpine GC. He moved to Longview from the Northeast. To add to his woes, Lefty had just divorced his wife and had to leave his 3 year old daughter behind. We developed a friendship and shared a passion for golf and music. I was playing regularly at McCann Street Bar and Grill on weekends. I had not started writing yet and played my favorite artists, Cat Stevens, Dan Fogelberg, James Taylor, Gordon Lightfoot and CSN. Lefty and I got together and decided to write a song about his current situation. It is right up there with the saddest of sad songs. We performed it together a few times and in my pile of songs it has set since 1982. I pull it out every once in awhile in remembrance of Lefty.
1) To never love is lonely to love and lose is cruel
Though my friends still take my side
There is no doubt, I’ve been a fool
The wars I’ve fought within my mind will never be understood
I’ve wrestled with these shadows so long
To try and beat them, Oh if I could
Chorus) It took too long to rescue me from the pillbox and the booze
You’re leaving just as I know I love you
That’s why I sing these blues, Why must I sing these blues
2) I watched you take my little girl knowing that I’m to blame
Now this old heart is breaking
I know it will never be the same
And the thought of love that pulled me through
Goes with you right out the door
And memories we’ll share no more
3) This test of love I’ve forced you through could have broken anyone
But you stayed by me until you knew
That our love could not be renewed
That’s why I sing these blues
Bridge) Yes I’m fine, I’ll be alright
These tears I cry are just beads of love
As they clear my eyes I can see
The sins I must rise above
Words and Music by Todd Wilson and Lefty Crouch 1982
Giant Spaces-Opening Doors to Freedom 