Tag Archives: wars

Deb and I lived in Texas in the early 80’s. We had just got married and moved to Longview so I could go back to school and finish my degree at LeTourneau College. To pay for school and housing, I had an automotive repair business called Todd’s Automotive, Deb worked at McDonald’s, and we both worked at Alpine Golf Club. In 1982, Lefty Crouch, a fired air traffic controller, joined Alpine GC. He moved to Longview from the Northeast. To add to his woes, Lefty had just divorced his wife and had to leave his 3 year old daughter behind. We developed a friendship and shared a passion for golf and music. I was playing regularly at McCann Street Bar and Grill on weekends. I had not started writing yet and played my favorite artists, Cat Stevens, Dan Fogelberg, James Taylor, Gordon Lightfoot and CSN. Lefty and I got together and decided to write a song about his current situation. It is right up there with the saddest of sad songs. We performed it together a few times and in my pile of songs it has set since 1982. I pull it out every once in awhile in remembrance of Lefty.

1) To never love is lonely to love and lose is cruel

Though my friends still take my side

There is no doubt, I’ve been a fool

The wars I’ve fought within my mind will never be understood

I’ve wrestled with these shadows so long

To try and beat them, Oh if I could

Chorus) It took too long to rescue me from the pillbox and the booze

You’re leaving just as I know I love you

That’s why I sing these blues, Why must I sing these blues

2) I watched you take my little girl knowing that I’m to blame

Now this old heart is breaking

I know it will never be the same

And the thought of love that pulled me through

Goes with you right out the door

And memories we’ll share no more

3) This test of love I’ve forced you through could have broken anyone

But you stayed by me until you knew

That our love could not be renewed

That’s why I sing these blues

Bridge) Yes I’m fine, I’ll be alright

These tears I cry are just beads of love

As they clear my eyes I can see

The sins I must rise above

Words and Music by Todd Wilson and Lefty Crouch 1982